The Child Is the Point. Always.

After more than 32 years in special education, I have learned that the most important thing about a child is also the easiest thing to lose sight of.

The child.

Not the paperwork.

Not the diagnosis.

Not the behavior.

Not the challenges that bring everyone to the table.

The child.

Because before a child ever has an IEP, a 504 plan, a behavior plan, or a list of accommodations, they are already a person.

They have a personality.

They have strengths.

They have dreams.

They have people who love them.

And they have potential that may not always be obvious to everyone who meets them.

I learned this lesson early in my career with a student I will never forget.

I first met him when I was an elementary collaborative teacher. He was one of those children who made sure you always knew he was in the room.

He had energy that seemed limitless.

Focus did not come easily.

Sitting still was not his strength.

Following the expected path was definitely not his strength.

He was, as I sometimes described him, “wild as a buck.”

He could tap dance on your last nerve.

And yet, at the exact same time, he was one of the kindest, most respectful children you could ever meet.

That was the thing about him.

If you only looked at the moments that were difficult, you missed the child.

You missed the humor.

You missed the compassion.

You missed the loyalty.

You missed the heart.

Some people saw the behaviors first.

I saw the person.

I saw a child who was curious, creative, determined, and full of potential.

I saw a child who did not need adults to lower their expectations.

He needed adults who believed in him enough to help him reach them.

Fast forward a few years, we were together again.

This time, he was a high school student.

The same personality was still there.

The same energy.

The same ability to walk into a room and make sure everyone noticed.

But something else was there too.

Growth.

Maturity.

Confidence.

The child who once struggled to fit into a traditional classroom was becoming a young man who understood his strengths and was learning how to use them.

And that is one of the most important lessons I have learned throughout my career:

The things that make a child challenging in one environment can become the very things that make them successful in another.

Energy can become drive.

Persistence can become determination.

Strong emotions can become empathy.

A big personality can become leadership.

The goal is never to change who a child is.

The goal is to help them become the best version of themselves.

But seeing the potential is only the beginning.

The real work is helping others see it too.

Because when a child’s challenges are the first thing people notice, it can become easy to focus only on what is hard.

The interruptions.

The frustration.

The incomplete assignments.

The moments when learning does not look the way we expected.

But challenges are not the whole story.

They are information.

They tell us something.

They help us ask better questions.

What is this child communicating?

What barriers are preventing this child from being successful?

What accommodations would allow this child to show what they know?

What strategies would help build independence?

What interventions would teach the skills this child needs?

That is where special education becomes powerful.

It is not about making excuses for a child.

It is about understanding a child deeply enough to create the right path forward.

Sometimes that means accommodations.

Sometimes it means specialized instruction.

Sometimes it means behavior supports.

Sometimes it means helping the adults around a child understand that the student sitting in front of them is capable of more than their hardest moments suggest.

Because academics are only one piece of the puzzle.

Yes, we want children to read.

We want them to write.

We want them to solve problems and master academic skills.

But we also want something bigger.

We want children to know they are capable.

We want them to build relationships.

We want them to learn how to communicate, problem-solve, advocate for themselves, regulate emotions, and recognize their own strengths.

Those skills do not just impact school.

They impact friendships.

They impact careers.

They impact life.

And this is where we have to be honest.

Every parent sees their child in a way no one else can.

Parents know the little things that may never appear in an evaluation report.

They know what makes their child laugh.

They know what causes frustration.

They know the interests that spark motivation.

They know the challenges their child works through every single day.

They know the hopes they carry for their child’s future.

That knowledge is priceless.

But teachers bring something equally important.

They see a child in a different environment.

They see how that child learns.

They see how that child interacts with peers.

They see strengths and struggles that may not appear at home.

And they do this while supporting an entire classroom of students — each with their own needs, personalities, and challenges.

That is why the relationship between parents and teachers is not just important.

It is critical.

A teacher cannot know everything about a child without the family.

A parent cannot always see everything happening during the school day without the teacher.

Each person holds a piece of the story.

And children need all the pieces to have a complete plan.

The strongest teams are not built when everyone agrees all the time.

They are built when everyone remembers the same purpose.

The child.

When a parent says, “This is what I know about my child,” that is valuable information.

When a teacher says, “This is what I am seeing at school,” that is valuable information.

When professionals share their expertise, that is valuable information.

No one person sees the entire picture alone.

But together, they can.

That is what makes a team.

And that is why I created Same Team.

Because parents should not have to walk into meetings feeling like they need to become experts just to be heard.

They should not have to choose between protecting their relationship with the school and advocating for their child.

They should have the knowledge, tools, and confidence to be an equal and active member of the team.

And schools should have families who come prepared, informed, and ready to work together.

Because the goal was never for parents to win against schools.

The goal was never for schools to win against parents.

The goal was always the child.

The child who deserves to be understood.

The child who deserves to be supported.

The child who deserves adults around them who see both the challenges and the possibilities.

Because the child is not the behavior.

The child is not the diagnosis.

The child is not the disability.

The child is a person with a future waiting to be discovered.

And when everyone remembers that…

when parents and schools truly work together…

when everyone becomes part of the same team…

students win.